How to Break it Off with a Mature Gentleman with Class in 10 Easy Steps
1. Be sure you get your belongings before you announce you are breaking up with him.
From things you let him borrow to leaving some clothing you really like at his place, gradually remove your items from his dwelling. Now if you have some things you don’t care about, let him keep them especially if you don’t want to see his face again.
2. All items you plan to return to him package them with care and mail or drop them off.
Anything of his you have or he has requested back, be sure that when you return them you have proof such as a required signature form accompanying his package. This is why mailing his stuff is far better than dropping his things off at his place. Also, for safety reasons, when you have announced your breaking it off with your date, you don’t want to return to his residence. Depending on how bad the break up is for him, he might possibly act threatening or abuse you--for some men once they are rejected it is no more Mister Nice Guy. So make a clean break and avoid the temptation of letting him back into your home or you going over to his place for any reason, not even a drink --you don‘t know if he might drop a drug in it.
3. Start off by thanking him for everything that he has done for you.
Don’t flatter or flirt. Just share a few positives then lead into what you need to say. Record your conversation if you feel like he might act ugly.
4. State how you feel about your dating experience with him briefly.
When the time has come to share how you feel about the relationship, just state something like, at one time you thought the two of you were a good fit, but you realized after careful contemplation that it is no longer a good idea to date.
Leave the negative criticism out of the conversation and every mean-spirited thing he may have said and did to you unless you want to put him on the defensive. He might want you to elaborate, but why, so that he can improve his behavior for the next woman he dates? Instead, talk about yourself, rather than him. “I just don’t feel good about the future. I have high expectations…” you might say.
Refer to your deal-breakers and then end the conversation without interrupting him or defending your actions. Most people want to insult anyone who isn’t making them feel good, so be prepared for the negative backlash, “Well I wasn’t going to say anything, but young lady I feel like you are…and you expect too much…and another thing when I gave you…and you are lucky that anyone gives a…about you! Furthermore, you have a lot of growing up to do.” He’s hurt, he’ll get over it. Don’t receive any of his negativity. Tell him, “I’m ending this conversation now, take care.”
For some older men, they go into relationships with younger women acting like they know everything about them. So when she expresses that she is dissatisfied with the relationship, he says something like, “Every couple has problems. Maybe you are just going through a sensitive time right now. You know your period is right around the corner. Sometimes you tend to overreact.” Reaffirm that you know what you don’t want, and that is continuing in a relationship with him that is unfulfilling.
6. Work hard to keep yourself in control, if you feel like you are about to lose it, end the conversation.
Don’t permit the mature man to anger you to the point that you say something that he can use against you later. Keep in mind, you don’t know who else might be listening in on his phone conversations with you, reading email or texts you are sending him. Exercise restraint over evil words and actions. Think professional, you wouldn’t curse your boss, smack a co-worker, break a friend’s valuables, or destroy your parent’s household, would you?
7. Avoid the temptation to call, text, email, or visit him.
This step seems easy enough to remember until you are feeling lonely, want sex, or start thinking about all the good things he did for you. Older gentlemen can be charming even during the withdrawal phase of the break up. Try not to send emails or texts once you have stopped dating him.
8. Don’t share details about your relationship with your mutual connections.
As tempting as it might be to tell friends everything that went wrong in the relationship, don’t. You might need these people in the future particularly if you should want to work in the same industry, town or similar area.
9. Remove all photographs of him from your social networks.
Don’t knock your chances of building new relationships and business connections by keeping a past love in your timeline. Remove him from profile pages and other places online.
10. Update your family and friends that you are no longer dating at this time.
Sometimes being in a relationship that some might not agree with can cause family discord, so when you have parted ways let them know. Also, alert your family because you don’t know if he is the type that will later stalk you on or offline. Explain to your family you don’t want them giving out your personal information for safety reasons. Travel with someone if you should want to go where you think you might run into him.
Screaming, cursing, threatening, and acting downright bitter and jealous after a breakup will only prove a point to the mature man that young women are immature. Refrain from being that person who will be remembered for acting crazy; rather be a classy lady who will best be remembered as that one that got away!
