7 Tips to Help a Mature Man Date a Young Woman with Children - Part 1
You may have found a great, respectable young woman who seems to be happy with her life. She might even be wife material one day for you. However, there is one challenge that you might be grappling with and that is she has children. You struggle with the idea of having to embrace the attractive young woman and her children along with a father or two in the mix. You may also be concerned that she has little time to fit you in her life. So what do you do?
One. Get to know her.
This point seems so obvious, but many singles forget to ask the important questions that will determine whether one is worth dating. She may look young and have a personality that makes you feel like you are a teen in love again, but underneath her youthful beauty is a woman who has much more experience than most her age. Most likely having children has moved her to mature faster, take on bigger responsibilities, and learn more about parenting. This mother with children could be divorced or has an ex-boyfriend in the picture who is involved in the children’s lives. If you don’t get to know her, you will be at a lost when it comes to how she reacts when upset or irritated about things like: the ex, raising children, household tasks, employment, bills, and more. All of which you might one day have to help her with. So find out what makes her happy, sad, and even hopeful about the future and try to accommodate not only her, but the children too.
Two. Learn about her role as mother.
Both young and older men date women without giving any thought to the other roles she plays besides lover. The moment a relationship challenge strikes, some of these men want to make a run for the door. A man can prepare himself for what is ahead if he takes the time to find out what additional roles the young woman has to fill in her life especially when it comes to motherhood. Find out how involved this mother is in her children’s lives and what types of things she does for her children when they are in her presence. Is she over-the-top when it comes to parenting them? Is she often angry toward them? Does she seem to have her roles balanced out?
Learn about the young woman’s plans for the future when it comes to her children and what role does the father(s), grandfathers, uncles, male cousins, etc. play in their lives. Watch how she disciplines them, and take notice if she will be difficult in the future to work with when it comes to teaching the children right from wrong. If she is the type that allows her children to dominate her while spoiling them rotten, then you will have many challenges trying to help her raise them. If she is the type that believes in discipline, so much in fact that it makes you cringe, that too will be a problem. Take the time to get to know not only who she is as a woman, but as a mother too and whether or not you can tolerate both.
Three. Visit with her and the children sometimes.
You don’t want to visit her so often that you wear out your welcome. Unlike the single woman without children, a single mother with children doesn’t have much free time, but when she does, she hopes that time spent with her date will be well worth it. You might be the one planning the dates and you might also be the one paying for many of them. Creating an atmosphere that is warm and family friendly will help break the ice when it comes to meeting her and the children for the first time. But spend as much time with her before getting children involved if you can. Offer to pay for a babysitter if feasible.
When the time comes to meet the young woman’s children, the meeting doesn’t have to be formally arranged (like sitting around an empty table), it can be at a local restaurant, an amusement park or at a children’s event. Ask your young date about the children’s interests in advance. Once you meet them, keep in mind of the following: don’t bombard her offspring with questions about her or their father, and try hard to keep conversations with children lighthearted. Children like to talk about what they like to do, where they have been and where they would like to go in the future, who they know, and what they need. If they should say something shocking, avoid reacting. Allow the children to see that you are one of the good guys who sincerely is interested in caring for mom and them. Most likely, their mother will be guarded about her children because she has heard the news reports of boyfriends who abuse children and she may have gone through some past issues that she has yet to resolve, so initially she will not trust you. Don’t be offended. Ask yourself, “Would I trust myself being alone with someone else’s children if I didn‘t know me?”
Four. Be prepared for a sudden change of heart.
You may have dated a mother for sometime, but one day she starts acting as if she doesn’t want to be bothered with you and seems to be quick and impatient with not only you, but the children too. Depending on how long ago she has had a baby, she could be going through some hormonal changes. She might have other health problems that affect her personality. Sometimes family, exes, and friends tend to discourage young women from dating older men. Whatever the change of heart, don’t pressure her to be with you. Give her some space. If she really likes or loves you, she will want to reconnect.
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