6 Questions a Young Woman Should Ponder Before Settling with an Older Man
If you have dated a man for a week or for years, you should have learned enough about him by now to know whether or not he is worth being his wife one day. If you are still undecided and really feel like you don’t know enough about this man, consider six questions that will help you get to know him.
1. What is it about you that interests the mature man?
Now for some women, they may assume they already know. But like the weather changes from day to day, for some men they can feel up one day about a girlfriend and down the next. So what is it that he likes about you and what could you do to keep him interested. If you spend enough time observing him, more than talking, you can learn some things about him that will also motivate you to want to stay with him.
2. Is the older man currently dating others?
Some men will admit that they are while others will claim they are not or “just have friends.” If he is dating others, you don’t want to be just another one in the group. You can stand out simply by telling him how you feel and what you want from him. If he can’t give you what you want within a respectable timeframe (such as a committed relationship), then don’t bother keeping him around.
3. What does your mature date hope to accomplish in the future?
There are those men who have their future planned out. Even if certain goals aren‘t reached, they have a back up plan. So do you know what your older date is working toward and what connections he has that is helping him land his goals? Some men actually do what they say, while others simply talk but never follow up their dreams with action. Also, keep in mind some men have a plan to get businesses off the ground and make their lifestyles better by using women. If he is just starting a project, don’t offer to do anything for him until his project shows potential and you are able to receive some benefit. Be sure everything you do related to helping him achieve his dreams is documented and receipts kept in a safe place in the event you might one day have to handle any paperwork related to the business or go to court.
4. Is your older boyfriend open to marriage, children, relocation, and more?
Some middle age men are more concerned about finding a partner who they can share a laugh or two, go places, have intimate moments, and do other “fun things.” But if you are serious about a future that is complete with marriage, children, relocation, financial investments, and more, then you might want to spend much time discussing what your partner wants to achieve in life with you.
5. Is the older individual happy with his current life decisions? Why or why not?
Sometimes older men aren’t happy about too much of anything, because they know they messed up a lot in their youth. You will want to get a good idea how he feels and how might his emotions impact you. Will you be able to stand strong when he is feeling down? How can you help him feel better? What more do you think he needs to do to make his life better? If he is open to your suggestions and life experiences then it shouldn’t be difficult to help him through his situation, but if he is the type that doesn’t listen to anyone, much less women, and thinks he knows everything, it will be challenging to try to convince him to start being happier and in time he will bring you down with him.
6. What does he think of women his age or older? How would they describe him?
Knowing how he feels about women in general will help you determine whether he is the controlling, abusive type. Unnecessary name-calling, jokes, put-downs, and other negative statements might sound funny when he refers to women close to his age, but what tends to happen is that men like this will typically use their mean words on those closest to them. If he has a reputation for being angry often and can’t seem to get along with anyone, this would not be a man that any woman would be able to settle down with and live comfortably.
When you take a moment to delve deep when it comes to thinking about a future relationship with a man, especially one who is years older, you will find that what you thought you knew about this person you may love, you really don’t know. Ask the kind of questions that will challenge your thinking when it comes to him. Let the answers he gives you cause you to want to do some things differently in your own life to improve you. Find ways to help your older man when you see he isn’t feeling or looking well. The trials that you might be dealing with while dating this man are good indicators whether you should be settling with an older man or not.
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